A new year calls for new attitudes, new energy, and of course that list of resolutions. They come with the best of intentions, but often these resolutions are unrealistic and unkind. Don’t get me wrong, they are not impossible. You absolutely deserve to manifest what you set your mind to, but it’s important to be patient with yourself. 

Are you stuck n’between old and new?

I’m sure you’ve noticed this during the holidays. You’re sitting at the dinner table with familiar faces in a familiar environment, but something feels a little awkward. Or you go home for the holidays and your 30-year-old self is trapped in your 13 year old bedroom. 

Take a moment to pause. You may be surprised how fulfilling that complexity can be.. Who knows, you might even find a nicely wrapped gift among the whirlwind of chaos. It’s okay to feel it all. The good, the bad and everything n’between.

You do not need a crying prescription. You don’t need permission to release pain. Stop talking yourself out of feeling the way you feel because those feelings won’t just go away. That’s not how we heal. Feel the tears run down your cheeks, and how they land all the way down your chest.

Notice what happens in your body, when you read: “You can be both, Amber.” Whether you’re both Jewish and Christian. You like both men and women. You’re both non-binary and a man. You’re both Mexican and US American. Splitting ourselves in half puts a toll on our well-being. This idea that we have to be one thing keeps us overworking, inauthentic and untrue to ourselves.

The space n’between is where we get to breathe. That said, it is not a fantasy land. It’s not utopia. The space n’between is one single moment out of millions. It’s a moment we get to feel, rest and nest. The space n’between is that moment you don’t have to explain yourself about anything.

Your body doesn’t lie, so follow its somatic guidance. Take ownership of your life and go for what you want. You don’t have to wait for the cards to magically fall in place. If you want the go-ahead, here it is: green light. You have the power to create your reality.

It’s okay to feel sad, tired, or “lazy”. How do you listen to your body? Can you honor the slowness that accompanies this time of year?Maybe taking time to rest. Roll around in your bed. Cozy up and read a book. That is definitely a necessary use of time.

I’m here to tell you that within your purposeful life, you can experience pure moments of purposelessness.

Living in a capitalistic society, you’re taught to place your value on your work. On what and how much you produce. 

We’re constantly looking for ways to work harder and be perceived as “successful”. We then struggle seeing our inherent worth when we remove our ability to be productive

Unfortunately, as n’betweeners we move around the world feeling UNSEEN. We often don’t see ourselves represented anywhere... whether it’s in the media, movies or books. So we naturally start to dismiss our internal experiences, and struggle seeing our worth. Lack of representation severely harms our mental health.

We’re fed this lie that we’re supposed to be happy (all the time). When truly, we’re here to feel all of it! I know life can be HARD. And I also know, we wouldn’t be us without these painful times, because these challenges make us grow. Yet capitalism, patriarchy and other systems of oppression trick us into thinking that “tears and feelings are a problem"......(!!!)

Investing in yourself is the greatest act of self-love. Saying YES to listening and believing in yourself is powerful. But instead you hide. You don’t take that risk. You minimize your gifts. You unwillingly self-sabotage…! If your mind plays these tricks with you, you’re not alone.

And I collapsed.  When we take the risk of believing in ourselves we step into our most powerful self. Today I like to say: “I’m not sensitive! I’m SUPER sensitive”. In fact, being sensitive is one of the superpowers of being an n’betweener. I took a risk and invested in my super-sensitivity.

Don’t miss the opportunity to be part of this UNIQUE n’betweener community. There is no greater gift to yourself than to empower yourself, increase your self-worth and invest in yourself. This is your chance to truly believe in Y O U! (If not you, who will….?)

You’ve been swallowing some serious dangerous beliefs. Sneaky little lies about you being less than, unworthy and a burden.

Misinformation about you that has led you to overwork, overstretch and overcompensate. You’re exhausted. You’re trapped inside a traumatizing fog.

It’s called Internalized Oppression

You mold yourself into what you think you should do rather than what you want!

These are your limiting beliefs, they are not YOU. If you’ve ever thought, “Enough is enough!” you’re on the right path.

Code-switching is a survival mechanism. It gives us a false sense of belonging.

We act “professional”. We use words that are perceived as more “intellectual”.

We basically code-switch into acting like a cis White man on the INSIDE!

N’betweeners are cursed with not-believing-in-ourselves aka. imposter syndrome.

One moment we’re standing shouting “YES I can do this!”. Next moment, we’re curled up on the couch watching Netflix, feeling heavy doubt. Aaaaand the cycle repeats.

Here is the most heartbreaking thing about imposter syndrome repeat-cycle.

When we are subjected to constant oppression, we naturally begin to assume these messages of unworthiness as part of ourselves.

We internalize these oppressive experiences unconsciously as the truth. That we're not good enough, capable, beautiful, intelligent. Internalized oppression is a deep complex form of self-deception, that largely operates on an unconscious level

When I say alone, I mean all types of loneliness from isolation, not being understood, feeling rejected, standing out etc. When we hold such complex marginalized experiences we naturally feel that no one can relate to us.