No matter the situation, the feeling of having no power or control is excruciatingly painful. Powerlessness often leads to helplessness, which only leads to more stuckness. Let me tell you the good news: You always have power! I call it your innate power.

As n’betweeners, we experience painful oppressive experiences on a regular basis, it is therefore even more important to become aware of how our resistance shows up. Resistance is the gateway to our unconscious, and to get to know ourselves more intimately. When we resist, we’re trying to protect vulnerable parts of ourselves

Yes, you get to choose where you want to place your energy. Who do you want to hang out with? What do you need to say not to? You get to choose you first, always. People will always have expectations towards you, but no one can take care of you like yourself. When you choose yourself first, that’s when the real reward comes

Capitalism teaches us we can’t rest. It tells us that rest means “you’re doing something bad”. Often the reaaaaal work is not to work, but to learn how to rest. Boundaries are essential to rest. Rest literally means to say no to work. Rest is a space n’between. Rest can be one breath or a month of vacation in Corsica. Rest is also a privilege.

We have this idea that we shouldn’t experience hurt. That it shouldn’t happen, especially with our loved ones. Yet we get hurt all the tiiiiiiime, and we hurt others all the tiiiiiiime (especially the people we love the most!) Suffering is an inevitable part of the human experienc

We compensate to hide our feeling of inadequacy by excelling. It gets the best of us. Constantly feeling unworthy. Like who you are is not enough or what you do is not enough. We feel this especially as n’betweeners. Our experience is constantly being questioned. We feel like we have to prove ourselves.

There is value to our pain if we let ourselves receive it. I know it is hard. As n'betweeners, we often hurt and feel alone in our experience, and it also allows us to see and understand things in a way no one else can. Taking these negative feelings and giving them value is tough, but when we are able to do so, we gift ourselves the ability to recognize our abundance and our strengths.

An n’betweener is an individual who navigates multiple identities at once. Who are we? We’re multicultural, we’re people of color, we’re queer, we’re trans, we’re multi-faith, we’re immigrants or children of immigrants and the list goes on. We navigate complexity every day through the multiple identities we comprise.

Black culture is a beautiful one. One that has transformed years of struggling and pain into strength, resilience, art, beauty and so much more. We can’t celebrate this day without acknowledging the deeply rooted racism that has infested US American history. New York Times Best-Selling author Resmaa Menakem speaks to how racism is rooted in the body. I love how he defines People of Color as Bodies of Culture.

Nowadays we are literally flooded with news all day every day. We consume it through all forms of media. Television, Twitter, Instagram, news, podcasts. This naturally creates a sense of dysregulation. We receive more information than we’re capable of integrating into our bodies. So when we learn distressful content such as the death of 215 indigenous children, our nervous system tends to shut down. We leave our window of tolerance.

Closeting ourselves perpetuates shame and isolation. When we closet ourselves we buy into the idea of heteronormativity. That there is only ONE way of living and being. We learn that the right way to exist is to be cis and straight, with two children, and a dog in a house with a white picket fence.

This feeling of awkwardness and discomfort is not isolated to just you. After a year of being cooped up, I think we can collectively agree that going back out can be scary. Putting ourselves out there after months of staying in is not an easy feat. Don’t worry, I’m on the same page. Let’s be easy on ourselves.

When we deal with systemic oppression, one story is often intentionally untold. It’s purposefully kept from being heard. Palestine and Israel have been in conflict for years and years. However, it’s only now that Palestine’s story is getting some awareness in the media

Right now, Indigenous women and girls are being erased as we speak. Their voices silenced, their bodies disposed of, their trauma ignored. May 5th was Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls day. As we made posts to social media to spread awareness of the issue, the posts disappeared from social media. Instagram announced that it was experiencing global technical issues unrelated to any particular topic.

Let’s normalize all emotional states, cause it’s May and that means that it’s Mental Health Month! This exact month I proudly celebrate FIVE years as a psychotherapist. And what I can tell you is mental health is still sooooooooooo stigmatized (yes even with the increased awareness we’re seeing). We dehumanize people with mental illness and struggle to the point that we silence ourselves.

When living with internalized oppression, we learn to constantly examine ourselves and our self-worth. The obsessive negative or shameful thoughts spiral: “Did I do enough?” “Should I have said that?” “What will they think of me?” What do I have to say about that?

Collective trauma exists on the same plane as collective liberation. We can’t be free until we’re all free. We can’t feel safe until we are all safe. We can’t claim justice until we’ve all experienced justice. And that doesn’t just go for communities of color, that goes for everyone, no matter your race, your sexual orientation, your religion, or any other social identity. Until the battle is won for us all, we must continue to fight.

Our emotional well-being is not a to-do list. We can’t experience an emotion and then expect to fully heal from trauma and oppression. We are fluid beings and the emotions we experience will come and go. And when they go, that doesn’t mean they are gone forever. So don’t beat yourself up when those feelings begin to resurface. Invite in the emotions you are feeling and be at peace with that.

When we take that job we don’t want to. When we don’t set the necessary boundaries. When we say one thing and mean another. Exhaustion is an incongruence between our soul and the way we present. That feeling of ingenuity. It drains you of your energy. Who enjoys being a person they are not? Changing our appearance, the way we speak, the way we act at the expense of our own mental health.

We struggle picturing that we can have an abundant life. That we deserve to have a workplace and relationships who get us. We only benefit when we are met with individuals who can genuinely relate to our experiences and struggles. And sometimes we do have to put in a little more work to find it. We have to do extra research to find the person/job/opportunity that can relate to our experience, but oh is it worth it.