Sometimes I'm a White straight cis-dude
I know what you’re thinking: “Huh? Are you doing ok Nora?!”
Ok but hear me out on this one.
A key trait of an n’betweener is that we code-switch (almost every damn day...!)
Code-switching is the practice of shifting the way you express yourself through verbal and nonverbal language.
Code-switching is a survival mechanism. It gives us a false sense of belonging.
We code-switch consciously, but often unconsciously...
We change our dialect or accent
We act “professional”
We move our bodies in a particular way that is deemed “non-threatening”
We use words that are perceived as more “intellectual”
We over-smile till our cheekbones hurt
We basically code-switch into acting like a cis White man on the INSIDE!
While it can seem to be effective (and sometimes necessary), it also holds deep pain, as our most authentic self gets hidden.
If you’re resonating right now, it’s soooooooo OK!
This is not your fault. This is part of Internalized Oppression (IO).
I’ve created an entire course on how to transform IO into worthiness.
You deserve to be YOU, that brilliant badass you are.
Here are some ways you can transform White-straight-cis-dude codeswitching into your TRUE YOU
1. You find yourself holding it together. You appear unemotional, unbothered by things.
INSTEAD let yourself name the feeling, find a way to make space for the emotion.
2. Your body language is composed. Tight or rigid.
INSTEAD let yourself sigh, make sounds out loud, roll around the floor.
3. You stay on the surface, making looooots of jokes, avoiding deepening in relationships.
INSTEAD you might say “I’m nervous”, “I really want to connect with you”.
You’ve got this 💪
Much 💖
Nora