The ONE day of the year I used to hate!

Sometimes we’re just stuck… 

Like your shoes are glued to ground. You cannot move forward.

Are you stuck n’between old and new?

I’m sure you’ve noticed this during the holidays. You’re sitting at the dinner table with familiar faces in a familiar environment, but something feels a little awkward. Or you go home for the holidays and your 30-year-old self is trapped in your 13 year old bedroom. 

It’s like you’re a different person. Something inside you has shifted. You’ve grown, you’ve learned, you’ve experienced but you’re stuck in this old space and maybe the new you doesn’t know how to act. It feels a little odd, maybe even surreal.

So you time travel back to an old familiar role or dynamic and you cannot seem to shake it off.

You revert back to old tendencies and take on a previous mindset. It’s like the old version of yourself takes over and you start to lose control. You struggle to maintain the real and present version of you.

In these moments, you may feel hopeless. Like there is a weight on your shoulders.

I’ve been feeling this exact way every single year on this particular day: December 29th.

Today is my bday.

Yes, my birthday is of course tucked n’between Christmas and New Year. 

The last week of December is always a blur. Each day blends with the other. : Is it Thursday? Sunday? Wednesday?! I had to triple check to make sure today really was my birthday. 

I used to hate my bday…H A T E. People would forget it, or bundle it with Christmas so they could give me a gift as a 2 for 1 special and let’s not forget the fireworks. I dread loud noises.

But today, I’m feeling grateful. Grateful for the gift tucked in this strange n’between.

Today reminds me that it’s ok to hang in this luminous space. That there is a richness to this space.

That things are changing, and a new beginning is about to rise. Yes, 2022 is just on the horizon.

So don’t be fooled by this false illusion that you’re stuck. That you’re not moving. You absolutely are. It might not be clear, but there is a whole world of change exploding inside of you.

Don’t be hard on yourself, and don’t get discouraged by the struggle of changing old patterns into new ones.

The process is messy and foggy.

There is a new version of you waiting around the corner.

I’ll meet you there. 

French hugs

Nora