Stop excelling above and beyond!

My guess is that you’re overcompensating.

You try to hide that you’re not feeling good enough, so you overwork

You work endless tiring days. You read up on every single thing. You dress in a certain way to be seen. You’re perfect. 

You believe that if you juuuuuuust do this one thing, then you'll feel good enough.

Oh, it’s exhausting and one big fat lie. 

Overcompensating has a huge toll on our bodies.

We compensate to hide our feeling of inadequacy by excelling.

It gets the best of us. 

Constantly feeling unworthy. Like who you are is not enough or what you do is not enough.

We feel this especially as n’betweeners. Our experience is constantly being questioned. We feel like we have to prove ourselves. 

We saw this happen on Sunday when Rashford, Saka and Sancho, three Black English soccer players, were shamed and racially abused for missing the penalties.

We learn that we have to work extra hard, when in reality it’s a set-up. 

The moment we free ourselves from oppression is when we choose to see our worth. 

You can transform that feeling of unworthiness. 

You can turn your experience of not believing you’re enough into a realization of your uniqueness. 

Let me give you an example.

Do you ever feel like you are not Asian enough? Or not queer enough? Not American enough? 

Like you have to overcompensate to prove your identity? What if you could shift that into an understanding that the ways you choose to enact your identities is what uniquely sets you apart. We don’t have to comprise a single definition of what it means to be Black or queer or US American. 

However you define it is enough.

It’s easy to be consumed by thoughts that we are lacking. 

What I can tell you is that you hold the power. You don’t have to give in to the lies that society wants us to believe. Whoever you are, however you behave is enough. You don’t have to prove anything.

Sending you all the power, confidence and resilience I can.

XX

Nora

PS. Today I’ll be talking about the ways we feel “not queer enough” on IGTV at 2PM MST with Terra Anderson. Feel free to join me at @noraalwah!