Tell me how I hurt you!

How did I hurt you? 

Imagine if every time your feelings were hurt, someone responded with that question to you:

Tell me how I hurt you.

The person listened with an open heart, genuinely wanting to understand your emotional landscape.

We have this idea that we shouldn’t experience hurt. That it shouldn’t happen, especially with our loved ones.

Yet we get hurt all the tiiiiiiime, and we hurt others all the tiiiiiiime (especially the people we love the most!)

Suffering is an inevitable part of the human experience.

Our egos get in the way of us making repair and connecting with each other.

The truth is when we dare to ask that question, or genuinely answer it, we can only deepen the relationship.

When we engage with our loved ones from a place of openness and care, we build true intimacy. 

It’s actually a win-win to let ourselves ask that question. So who in your life might you want to ask this question to?

Thaaaaaat said, as Brené Brown would say: only ask people who've earned the right. 

Don’t share with someone who would further shame you for your courage. Share and ask the people who will see and honor your courage.

Summer hugs

Nora

PS. If you're hoping someone asks you this question, pretend the person did and write down/talk out loud what you would say. You can then consider reaching out to them.