In the span of a week, two terrorists have actually been out to get us. 18 lives lost between the Anti-Asian hate crime in Atlanta, Georgia, and a shooting right here in Boulder, Colorado. During these times it can be hard to avoid the-world-is-against-us narrative. So sometimes it’s important to acknowledge that the person that is in the way is YOU. Yes, that’s right. Self-sabotage is a thing and oftentimes we unconsciously take part in it.

Oppression takes from people. It restricts people. It inhibits people. And so often it is denied or made subtle by those in power which hurts the oppressed even more. It holds us back from being equipped with the proper tools to manage ourselves and our environment.

This week we celebrated International Women’s Day, honoring ALL womxn. Why is this day important? Because patriarchy hurts everybody but particularly oppresses women and people experiencing sexism. As women, we live in a world where we are constantly measured by how we present and how much we produce.

We are still very much living through the reality of COVID, so while you still have the chance, what action will you take? It doesn’t have to be something big. The smallest of things can have a radical impact, but it is easy to be a passive participant in this narrative. How can we make our experience more active?

Oftentimes, we don’t even realize how tough we can be. We set the bar so high and it creates these unrealistic expectations. That’s because self-aggression lives in hiding. It sneaks up on us. We deprive ourselves of goodness

The absence of self-love doesn’t mean it’s not there.Just because you are hard on yourself, feeling like you’re never good enough, internalizing shame, that doesn’t mean that the capacity to love yourself is nonexistent.We’re bound to have moments where we “aren’t feeling ourselves", but what is important is to acknowledge the self-love that exists.

Are you currently feeling burdened? Struggle always comes with some sort of benefit. When we are experiencing a difficult time in our life, it’s hard to realize the blessing we are being gifted. The lesson we are being taught. The message we need to hear.

Denying racism, or any form of oppression for that matter can be more detrimental to our well-being than when it is fully acknowledged. To have someone partake in oppressive behavior and claim that they aren’t racist or xenophobic can be more threatening. Denying oppression denies our experience. When oppression is named, we can externalize it

The language of normal has been built upon oppressive beliefs that we are engrained to believe are neutral and benign. We’ve become conditioned to believe that skinny means beautiful. Masculine is successful. And normal is White. Normal isn’t based on truth. Our very existence threatens others’ ideas of normalcy.

After 4 years of stress, many of us feel the traumatic toll of this never-ending violence. We are bracing at the next thing. Our bodies are worn out and deeply impacted by the post-traumatic stress this presidency has caused. Here is some good news. We are entering a time of Post-Traumatic GROWTH.

As we saw a mob of pro-Trump rioters seeking to reverse the results last Wednesday, our hearts broke, and we raged. We feel the unbearable injustice as a BIPOC community. We feel the recurrent ache from the White supremacy. I am here to tell you the other side of the coin. We won. Yes, you heard me right.

Unrealistic and unkind expectations. They set us up for disappointment while shadowing all the great things that exist. A new year calls for new attitudes, new energy, and of course that list of resolutions. You might vow to eat better, to exercise more, start that hobby, to spend more time focusing on mental health. All great things with the best of intentions, but often these resolutions are unrealistic, and can be unkind.

We tend to forget the little things during the holiday season. It is a season of giving. Giving love, gifts, and time, but sometimes that is replaced with rush and distractions. Distractions that make us forget what really matters. It fogs us from seeing the value in even the smallest of moments. Maybe even finding the value in ourselves. Our very presence can be a gift.

We all looooooove new beginnings. New beginnings feel exciting and full of possibilities. So we rarely feel into the challenge of managing endings and accepting closure. Here we are just two weeks away from the end of the infamous 2020. How would you actually like to leave 2020? Running? Regretting? Reflecting?

Imagine being 6 years old and you had a class where you could learn about self-kindness? In this class you were taught how to self regulate, listen to your body and communicate your feelings to others. Think about how different your life would look. Many of us are so hard on ourselves. We push ourselves to take on more and feel the need to do it right.

This time of year tends to be a stressful time for our nervous systems, and even more so now in the midst of a pandemic. You may be experiencing some changes if you celebrate any of these holidays.

With this drastic change has come resistance to it. Does anyone actually want to wear a mask? Or limit the size of their gatherings? Or stay in their homes? No. We want to walk freely.

Our whole lives are comprised of cycles that can be broken down into even smaller ones. Right now, many of us are excited to be on the cusp of a new cycle. The United States has just elected a new president into office and the first woman of color as vice president .

When I auditioned to be a speaker for TEDxCU almost a year ago, I could have never imagined what a journey it would be. I didn’t realize the mental, physical, and emotional process I was about to take on. Just as I was beginning to memorize my speech, COVID hit and TEDxCU was cancelled.

Perfectionism actually stems from a white supremacy culture. These characteristics are damaging to both people of color and to white people. A common way that perfectionism shows up is in the confusion between making a mistake and being a mistake.