Don’t pretend to smile when you’re crying silently inside

We don’t like to be seen as resistant.

Yet every day we resist an experience or an emotion. Even if you strengthen your capacity to be uncomfortable, you never completely move through it all.

We don’t want to feel pain, so we naturally resist our emotions.

As n’betweeners, we experience painful oppressive experiences on a regular basis, so it’s even more important to become aware of how our resistance shows up.

Resistance is the gateway to our unconscious. It stops us from knowing ourselves more intimately.

When we resist, we’re trying to protect vulnerable parts of ourselves.

Here are three common ways you might resist your emotions:

1. You hyper intellectualize

You overexplain why you’re feeling a certain way without letting yourself feel the emotion. You endlessly google, listen to podcasts or search for more knowledge to validate your experience.

2. You minimize your experience

You use humor to deflect your emotions. You change the subject when you feel discomfort. You avoid talking about the depth of your experience.

3. You isolate from relationships

You withdraw from people you love. You hide in your room. You numb out for hours through social media or Netflix.

Resistance actually intensifies the pain.

The first step towards release is to notice resistance showing up.

You may practice saying to yourself: "I'm resistant to [fill in the blank] feeling right now".

Our resistance always shows up in the body. It often manifests as tightness in our bodies. A clenched jaw, a fist, or any other tension in our bodies.

Begin to make space for the resistance, so the emotion can slowly flow in.

I like to remember this quote from Eckhart Tolle: “Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” 

XX

Nora