Guilt vs. Accountability

Do you feel the need to constantly get things right? You want to be perfect. You want to cause no harm. You just simply can’t fuck up this job, this relationship, or this project. Well, you’re not alone.

Too many of us expect to get things right all the time, but messing up is inevitable. I hate to break it to all my fellow perfectionists out there, but we are bound to make mistakes…several of them. 

Perfectionism actually stems from a white supremacy culture. These characteristics are damaging to both people of color and to white people.

A common way that perfectionism shows up is in the confusion between making a mistake and being a mistake.

Just because we mess up does not mean that we are failures. It’s time we develop a culture of appreciation, where we see the gift in our mistakes. Rather than getting frustrated and consuming ourselves in feelings of shame and guilt, we can use this as a chance to actually learn something. 

Watch this video to learn more about how we can transform mistakes like microaggressions into learning.

Let us stop being victims of our mistakes. Let us stop getting lost in a spiral of guilt. 

Here is the easy route: OWN IT! Just take accountability for what is yours. Stop blaming others, and yourself for that matter.

When we take full responsibility, we experience liberation.

That is where true repair can begin. It is where we learn and teach ourselves to be better moving forward. 

Get comfortable with saying “I messed up.” You’re going to have to say that a lot, so get used to it and know that it’s okay. What does owning up to your mistakes look like?

XO

Nora