This word might be harming you…

Have you ever said the following: 

“Sure, I can help.”

My absolute least favorite word in the entire English dictionary is:

S U R E.  

Why? Cause this ambiguous word harms you. It reduces your needs. 

It's a camouflaged “yes” that actually means NO.

You might think: “Nora, you’re exaggerating.”

But think about it for a moment.

How many times have you said "suuuuuure" when you meant "nope"?

And how did it feel afterwards?... (like 💩)

Saying yes instead of no is a self-abandoning survival mechanism that we n’betweeners have learned. 

It is really harmful to say “I don’t care” about the things that are impacting you. You’re basically telling yourself that what you feel doesn’t matter.

As n’betweeners, it is ingrained in us that we don’t have choice. 

So we end up doing things that we don’t want to do.

We’re familiar with oppressive institutions telling us what we can and cannot do with our bodies and our lives. Racism, sexism, ableism and every other ism you can think of deprive us of choice and, with that, we often lose a sense of power and autonomy. We don’t consent. 

Let me tell you this:

You always have a choice.

♡ Choice in how you respond.

♡ Choice in how you take care of yourself.

♡ Choice in finding another way.

You have the power to say no. Oppression wants us to feel shame when we push back and stand up for ourselves. 

It’s time to reclaim your ability to have choice. 

Sometimes saying no actually presents the opportunity for a future yes. Maybe you don’t have the energy now to meet up with that one friend, but, by saying no and allowing yourself the chance to reclaim your energy, you may be able to say yes to those plans later on. When we create boundaries we honor ourselves. We honor our time, our energy, our body. Sometimes we have to say no to that thing to make space for it later down the line.

You're not “weak” or incapable just because you say no. You’re smart, you’re conscious, and you're aware of what your body needs. Honor the process of turning things down and letting that plant itself as a seed for something later on. 

You deserve to have choice. 

So, use your autonomy to do what you truly want.

XO

Nora