It's ok to hurt someone…
Imagine what the world would look like if we were able to acknowledge that we will inevitably hurt each other. Meaning, instead of assuming that hurt won't happen, how do we learn to actually work through it?
Hurt happens everyday intentionally and unintentionally - we get hurt and we hurt others.
Yet we resist this so much. We believe "this shouldn't happen."
We have this idea that we shouldn’t experience hurt...(especially with our loved ones).
You're not bad for hurting someone. You're a human.
And it's simultaneously ok for you to experience hurt. It helps you grow.
Suffering is an inevitable part of the human experience. Life both supports us and challenges us.
When we accept that hurt is an intricate part of life, we can actually grow and expand. We can deepen our understanding of ourselves and our values.
Hurt lets us know that something deeply matters to us.
Imagine if every time your feelings were hurt, someone responded with the following:
"Tell me how I hurt you."
The person listened with an open heart, genuinely wanting to understand your emotional landscape.
The truth is when we dare to ask that question, or genuinely answer it, we can only deepen the relationship. We learn more about what matters to us and the people close to us.
Sometimes our pride gets in the way of us making repair and connecting with each other, and we wrong the other person for hurting us.
Yes we can have an intention of being kind and thoughtful, and it's inevitable that our actions will have different impacts on different people.
So let's assume hurt will happen, and practice engaging in difficult conversations around hurt.
Here are a few guiding questions 💗
What am I learning about myself right now?
How is this hurt helping me grow?
What clarity am I gaining?
If this situation hadn't happened, what would be missing right now?
Sending you a hug,
Nora