Have you grieved enough?

Unlike what you might want, grieving is not an option. It’s a necessity in life.

"Grief is unpredictable. She has no container or form to follow. She rises violently to the surface, has her way with you, and then rolls back out to sea again. You never know when she is going to overcome you” writes Wendy Stern, the founder of the Grief Support Network

It’s a vital process of letting go - and to move through again and again.

One of my greatest spiritual teacher is Sobonfu Somé.

She grew up in the Dagara tribe in Burkina Faso. When she lost her dear friend at age 5, her community showed up supporting her in her grief, asking her: "do you remember you friend died", “have you grieved enough today?”.

Grief can be particularly intense during the end of the year. 

Maybe it brings up old challenging memories. Maybe it reminds you of someone you lost. Maybe you feel like time is flying away from you. Maybe you have expectations on what your life "should" look like right now. 

I’m grieving with you today.

Often we associate grief with a loss of a person, but grief is any type of loss.

I’m in Comoros, in my dad’s home country, every day I’m filled with deep grief. Yet I am simultaneously filled with such gratitude for this beautiful grief.

 I’m grieving the inability to speak my native language Comorian.

 I’m grieving family connections I've lost.

 I’m grieving the immense trauma and poverty of my country.

 I’m grieving another part of me that has been asleep, and is just waking up.

 I’m grieving my aunts, my uncles, my family friends.

 I’m grieving my Papa.

Grieving is an important practice. It allows to practice letting go.

Sometimes grief hits us in a way that can feel overwhelming. If this is you, let it happen. You'll soon see there is an incredible gift waiting for you.

In the West, we don’t learn to be with grief.

It’s ok to not "know" how to be with grief. Being with grief doesn't come from your mind. The first step is to allow whatever you might feel to be here, to give yourself permission to feel it. To not control it, or need it to look a particular way or have a specific outcome.

Feel the grief fully. Let the gift come forward.

Sending you a gentle hug from the Indian Ocean

Nora

PS. Let yourself slow down and read about Sobonfu Somé’s work here