Ne te prends pas la tête!
I’ve been hearing this one sentence a lot the past weeks in Comoros
Stop grabbing your head.
That is the literal translation in French. It means stop worrying, getting upset and making things more difficult. Don't get in your head about it.
To no worry. To let go.
It’s been freeing to forget my phone, not wonder about social media, and not do much of anything.
In a capitalistic world, we learn that there is ONE right way of doing things.
And that our job is to figure out that “way” and do it as FAST as possible.
So in the West, we get caught up in this imaginary race and the idea of how things *should* look like and forget that in reality there are many ways things can happen.
As n’betweeners we learn to strictly follow the rules so we feel a sense of belonging.
Yet those rules can disappear or shift in a different context.
Here is an example:
In Denmark when I bike I make sure I don’t cross the streets at red lights.. (but the moment I realize no one can see me, I bike over in secret, until some stranger yells at me)
In Comoros there simply are NO traffic lights to look for. Absolutely none, but plenty of people yelling.
You might think traffic lights are better. But says who? According to what?
Take a moment to reflect what might be the advantages of no traffic lights. What might be freeing about that? What other ways would you have to communicate with people?
It’s just two different ways of holding an infrastructure.
It’s important to understand context, and how we might project our internal cultural context.
Context is everything.
When we impose our own context we can hurt others (and ourselves).
When we believe we know “better” we enact internalized dominance.
As we approach the holidays, that often can be stressful, how may you support yourself to "no grab your head"?
Here are a few thoughts:
Let go of a particular outcome.
Be surprised on what you might learn/experience when something different happens
Challenge yourself to see another perspective.
If you feel like you’ve been stuck in ways of how you should be doing things. Get out. Do something different. Try something new. Especially during these holidays times where it can seem that things should be a certain way.
Whether you celebrate or not, know that there is no right way this time should look like, you're not less or more if you celebrate or not, or whether you're surrounded with people or by yourself.
Grateful for you and for you taking the time to read these newsletters.
Let me know what resources I can provide for you in the new year.
Happy (non)holidays.
Much love
Nora