Help me get this word out
A new book to empower those who feel misunderstood and alone in their complex intersectional marginalized identities.
This educational memoir serves to provide language and a space of self-discovery for individuals who are often not represented in their identities and experiences. To deeply know themselves.
This book is a place to belong and let the beauty and nuance of our intricate and entangled identities exist.
Growing up mixed-race in Denmark, I felt wrong..
Stranger : Hvad er du?! (Danish for “What are you?!!”)
Me: Jeg er halv dansker, halv comorianer. (“I am half Danish, half Comorian”)
Papa overhearing my conversation: “Non Nora, ton corps n’est pas coupé en deux!” (French for “No Nora, your body is not cut in half.”)
I can still hear my dad’s sharp voice: “You’re fully Danish AND fully Comorian. You’re BOTH, not either or!”
Growing up mixed-race in Denmark, l felt wrong. I didn’t belong among all those tall blondes. I felt that I owed the (White) Danes an explanation of who I was.
I felt belittled. I was ashamed of being me.
My dad died 10 years ago in May 2013. He may be gone, but his words forever stay with me.
So, what’s my WORD, you ask?
n’betweener.
Someone who is trying to understand themselves in their complexity.
I coined this term to create language to describe people like me, who exist at the intersection of multiple complex identities.
You deserve to be gotten.
To be seen.
To belong.
You don’t have to
choose between identities.
What the heck is an n’betweener?
An individual who desires to know themself in their complexity.
It’s not “just a word.”
Language shapes perception, and finding one word that describes your experience provides a deep understanding of yourself.
It provides a sense of relief.
n’betweeners are people who live with multiple complex marginalized identities that sometimes conflict with one another.
We’re women of color, mixed-race, multicultural immigrants, queer Muslims, Latinx youth, and infinite other intersecting identities.
n’betweeners are multifaceted and beautiful beings that encompass a diverse combination of identities.
We feel like we don’t belong here nor there.
There is a unique yet lonely experience to being an n’betweener. We’re often not represented, so we hurt.
But healing can occur when we’re reflected and seen.
Learn WHY this book is needed
This book will support n’betweeners navigate what it means to live at the intersection of multiple complex marginalized identities.
Sadly n’betweeners keep ourselves small, hold ourselves back.
This is the reason:
Internalized Oppression.
The #1 threat that marginalized beings face.
Overworking to prove our worth, yet never feeling adequate enough.
It’s time to stop acting like a chameleon to fit in.
True belonging exists when you makes space for all of your parts - embrace your multifacetedness.
“Until I am free to write bilingually and to switch codes without having always to translate, while I still have to speak English or Spanish when I would rather speak Spanglish, and as long as I have to accommodate the English speakers rather than having them accommodate me, my tongue will be illegitimate.”
This book is a place to belong
This book empowers you to tap into the beauty and nuance of your intricate and entangled identities.
This book serves both as a memoir and an educational language on how to believe in yourself in a world where you're not represented.
It provides insight on what it means to be an n’betweener: our gifts, our pain, our unique mental health struggles, the ways we mold ourselves, and how we can overcome internalized oppression.
I want to give n’betweeners the opportunity to feel confident in understanding their experience. I want to give them a language that empowers them to live an inspired life.
In my book, I will tell stories to explain the n’betweener experience, and I’ll weave in my personal life to reflect my own connection to what it means to be an n’betweener.
I want to provide every n’betweener a space to heal and feel understood without explaining themselves, and to connect congruently with their true self.
This book needs to come out. But I need your support.
Let’s honor the voices that are often invisibilized.
This book is a chance for me to express myself authentically. It’ll be written in English but fused together with my other languages.
My favorite language is mixing all of my languages at once.
My most authentic self is when I code-switch between languages and even spaces.
Gloria Anzaldúa gave me permission to write in the way I wish, and this book will do just that.
My parents couldn’t be more opposite.
One is Black-Arab, and the other is White.
One comes from one of the richest countries in the world, while the other is from the poorest.
One is Muslim, the other is Atheist/Protestant.
One speaks Danish, the other speaks Comorian and French.
One is outspoken, the other is subtle, and the list goes on.
My papa helped me coin the term n’betweener – the experience of living n’between experiences – and now I’m writing a book about it.
And my dad actually opened the first ever bookstore in Comoros.
This book honors n’betweeners like him.
About me
I’m a TEDx speaker, somatic psychotherapist and an anti-oppression educator.
I am a cis, queer, multiracial, woman of color from Denmark and Comoros, and I can proudly say I recently added another level of n’betweness by becoming a U.S. American and…
I was born in the space n’between.
n’betweeners are like birds.. we have superpowers
I relate being an n’betweener to being a bird.
Like birds, we hold multiple perspectives.
We can fly high and low. We can nest in a tree or ground on the earth. We see the world in so many beautiful ways.
My favorite space is truly in the air. I feel most alive when I’m in movement and most inspired when I’m traveling. On a plane is when I get my best work done.
Flying is like a container for me, where I get to fumble over my words and feel unsure of what language to speak. It’s one of the only spaces where it’s unclear where people are from. You can’t just make assumptions. You have to pay attention to people’s passports to cue in on what language to speak, and that is not even true sometimes. I love all of it.
So, in true bird fashion, I’m flying and taking this book with me.
I write best in the spaces n’between, and so I’m visiting all the spaces that have helped me connect to my n’betweeness.
My journey begins in Copenhagen, Denmark, and will end in the Indian Ocean where my father is buried in Comoros.
And I’ll also visit some of my other n’betweener homes that have had a significant impact on me.
My itinerary goes as such:
Copenhagen, Denmark: my motherland
Paris, France: my non-home home
New York, United States: my potential new home
Buenos Aires, Argentina: my soul home
Moroni, Comoros - my fatherland
And anywhere n’between.
My nest has been ever-changing but is currently based in my home in Boulder, Colorado.
