When self-love turns into urinating..(!)

I have a big question for you…

How do you love yourself?

I know..it can be tough to answer. 

But seriously, when no one is watching, the blinds are closed, the door is shut, how do you love you?

Talk to yourself in the mirror? Give yourself a squeeze? Pamper yourself with delicious food? 

I was inspired by an act of self-love last week.

It might *not* be what you’d typically think of self-love.

I was on a ghost walking tour with my mom in the wild nightlife of N’awlins (yes that’s right).

And right there out of nowhere a woman from the group pulled down her leggings… and peed on the street in front of everyone (!!)

Laughing and appalled at first. “WTF is she doing?!!” I said judgmentally. 

And then I felt a moment of admiration. She gave herself permission to be herself. This is no easy task, particularly as a woman.

Sure, maybe she was drunk. Or maybe she cared for herself. Probably both.

As n’betweeners, we’ve mastered the art (and curse) of shapeshifting. 

Oftentimes, this looks like us molding into the versions of who we think we should be rather than who we actually are. 

Each iteration of ourselves comes with a set of expectations on how to properly be enacted. If we don’t oblige, we are told that who we are is wrong.

It can be hard to intimately be ourselves.

It is soooo difficult to lean into who we really are when we are so used to putting on a show. Pretending to be someone who doesn’t resonate with our true self. 

What would your life be like if you owned the unedited version of yourself? 

Maybe you’d pee on the streets? Laugh absurdly loud? Move to a new place?

Authenticity is the constant letting go of who you think you should be and accepting who you really are.

Get to know that person, but even further learn to love that person. 

Loving ourselves through our imperfections is a challenge.

So I want to leave you with some wisdom my dear friend shared with me:

“Just because you don’t feel love towards yourself doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.”

The absence of self-love doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Just because you are hard on yourself, feel like you’re never good enough, and internalize shame, doesn’t mean you lack the capacity to love yourself. 

Sometimes we may have to dig a little deeper, but that love is at our core.

We have to trust that even though we are feeling “bleh” right now does not mean forever. A greater appreciation does exist within our bodies. 

Trust that you can find that love for yourself. Even if it is a passing moment. It’s there. Trust it.

Loving wishes,

Nora