I spoke with Trevor Noah…

When do you feel like you most belong?

Take a moment to feel into your answer.

I’m asking when, not necessarily where. What makes you feel like you belong? Who is there? What’s the environment like? What allows this to happen?

Last Wednesday, I had the pleasure to ask this question to a person who is very special to me.

Someone whose jokes manage to inspire me every day.

Someone who makes feel seen, and less alone.

Someone who has served as my greatest n’betweener teacher.

Trevor Noah.

Sharp and funny with an ocean of depth.

He is most famously known as a comedian and host of the Daily Show, but as an n’betweener he holds so many more multifaceted talents. He is also a producer, author, and actor.

Trevor does not just make you laugh. You learn and grow in the process.

He has taught me the art of embracing all the conflicting parts of myself. I learned that being an n’betweener means seeing the beauty in many things. I don’t have to reject certain parts of myself. There is something magical that happens in the chaotic blend.

I attended one of the recent (and last) tapings of The Daily Show. Just me, there on 11th Avenue in NYC. When it came time for questions, my hand shot up. There in the crowd, among many others, he looked at me.

I took a breath and asked:

“Trevor, you're the ultimate chameleon. An n'betweener who knows how to speak anyone's “language”, so they feel seen and understood. But my question to you is.. when is it that you feel like you most belong?”. 

The audience sighed. 

Yeah, he’s a celebrity, but he also struggles like any other n’betweener with the feeling of belonging.

His answer you ask?

When he’s with his closest friends. He shared how he carefully chooses his inner circle.

In that exact moment I felt like I belonged. 

I find that belonging exists in the spaces n’between. In the Q&A break of the Daily Show, I felt like I belonged. In the dirty NYC subway, I felt like I belonged. 

Why do I believe it’s important that we have a word like ”n’betweener”?

Because it gives us permission to hold fluid identities. To not just be “one thing”.

Recently, Trevor Noah shared at the Culture Summit in Abu Dhabi, “I've lived my entire life with that challenge, [figuring out his identities] and it's been a gift on the other side.”

Yes, n’betweeners have a richness. An ability to witness and live in complexity like no one else.

n’betweeness is about allowing multiple identities to live simultaneously together. It’s important that we embrace this gift.

Let yourself see your gift as an n’betweener.

I’d love to hear when you feel like you most belong. Hit reply.

XO

Nora