No, you’re not moving to Canada

I know. 

It’s very hard. I know. The overturn of abortion rights was a punch to an already swollen bruise.

Our bodies are being controlled. We lost a human right.

You’re fed up. You want to leave.

You’re thinking “What’s next? Queer rights?!”, “How can we possibly go 50 years back?”.

I know. I get how you’re feeling.

But here is one thing you’re not gonna do: 

RUN AWAY!

You’re not moving to Canada, Portugal, or Mexico.

It’s not gonna resolve the problem. It will continue to impact our most marginalized communities.

Yes, it may give you some ease and make you feel safer, but it won’t solve the issue at its core.

Remember November 2018? Same kind of feelings as when Trump was elected? 

And then what happened? Did you move? My guess: no.

Trump was not reelected. And we did that. Yes a lot of harm was done, but we fought. We can fight for justice again.

As n’betweeners it’s hard for us to stay in this space of hopelessness, something here feels too familiar. Yet it’s important to practice being in this space of pain. To stay close to the heartbreak.

That said, things do change. We’re not solely moving backwards. We sometimes take two steps back and then one step forward.

That IS movement, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Right now it is important to mourn, to be scared, to be angry, to let the feels out.

It’s important to make space for this process, and slowly find strength to fight back.

👇 Here is a reminder of how our brain works 👇

This can help you normalize whatever experience you might have.

When we’re in front of a threat, we first assess whether we can ‘Fight’ our way out of the situation. In this case we lost, the Supreme Court voted to overturn. Now that we feel like we cannot ‘Fight’ we assess whether we can flee, can we get to safety? So we dream our way to Mexico or Canada. And if you’re beyond that, feeling completely hopeless and that you cannot flee the situation (also known as ‘Flight’), we then ‘Freeze’. We're stuck. This place is a very difficult place to stay in. 

Identify which stage you’re in.

In order to move out of Fight/Flight/Freeze you need to intentionally resource yourself.

Look for places that give you strength, comfort and empowerment ❤️

Recall a time when you felt this disempowered and look how you moved out of it. Was it through the support of your community? Was it by spending time in nature? Was it by being of service for others?

I’d love to hear from you. Let me know what stage you’re in, and what support you’re looking for.

Next time you want to flee to Canada, remember that there are other options, and that things will change even if they continue to be very hard.

For those of you who don’t reside in the US, I’d love to hear how it’s impacting you and what you might be facing.

Sending all the hugs to all the fierce women and childbearing people. 

💕 

Nora