The real problem with crying

Picture this for a moment,

Imagine you just heard the FUNNIEST joke...! Like the kind that hurts your stomach to the point you nearly pee your pants.

Now I tell you: "Do NOT laugh!" Hold your breath and all that laughter in. Don’t make any noise and don’t even think about cracking a smile!

Sounds awful, right?

Here is the thing. You're probably doing this. Not with laughing, but with crying.

Every single week I hear this phrase in session with clients 👇

"If I start crying, it won't ever stop."

Let's end this myth once and for all 🖤

Everything passes - that includes your sadness and tears.

The real problem about crying is our resistance to it.

We've all been conditioned to relate crying to weakness. What is heavy are not the tears but all the shoulds we have around crying.

When you let go of the resistance, crying will not only feel more manageable but also releasing.

You actually further hurt yourself when you search for "a valid reason" to cry. 

That moment where you feel your eyes water, and instead of making space for it, you hold your breath. You swallow down that lump in your throat. You open your eyes wide to keep the waterworks in because there’s nothing worse than running errands with black mascara streaked down your face.

It feels awful. Just like it doesn’t feel good to hold in a laugh. So how come it’s more socially acceptable to hold in our tears than it is to hold in a laugh? They are both expressions of our emotions. One happy and one sad, but neither one is better than the other.

I mean when it finally rains in a draught area, you don’t say “pleaseeeeee make it stop!” You get that the rain is necessary and healthy for the earth.

You may be in a drought. Maybe you’re forcing sunshine, pushing yourself to “be happy” when in reality you just need a good rinse.

Don’t let yourself shrivel in the drought. Welcome the rain. 

A lot of times when we feel sad, we look for ways to rationalize how we feel. Like “okay I’m feeling this way because that thing happened to me, but if I was a stronger person I wouldn’t feel this way I’d actually feel this way instead….” This is a lie we're fed.

You do not need a crying prescription.

You don’t need permission to release pain. Stop talking yourself out of feeling the way you feel because those feelings won’t just go away. There is infinite wisdom to your tears.

Feel the tears run down your cheeks and how they land all the way down your chest. Send that long message to your bestie. Call them. Use up the entire Kleenex box. 

I promise that everything you’re feeling is totally valid, even when you cannot make sense of it.

As summer begins for many of us, welcome the sunshine, but don’t be afraid of the rain. 

Hugs,

Nora