My most embarrassing session as a therapist

“Can you SEE me?” I asked my client. 

“I mostly see your face”, he said.

[me cringing inside]

It started out like a disco night. The lights constantly shifting in and out.  

In my pinkish shorts, black top, all soaked in sweat. My hair was dripping, the equatorial humidity and 32°C/90°F heat was killing me. The sun had set and the electricity was off everywhere in the capital Moroni in Comoros. Even the solar power system wasn’t working, so it was pitch dark in my room. And of course there was no AC or fan to save me. And to top it off the internet connection on my phone was cutting in and out.

It felt embarrassing to say the least. Just utterly unprofessional and unacceptable. I thought to myself “Just cancel Nora,” it’s not worth it.

But something in me believed that there was a way… maybe being a stubborn Capricorn.

In the midst of the therapy nightmare, laughter and connection arose.

The light of my computer became my lamp. The 4G on my phone remained mostly stable, and somehow in complete darkness and sweat I managed to do my therapy session with my client, and the experience became a beautiful metaphor.

There is always lightness in darkness.

Let's be real, I have hands down the BEST clients in the world. n’betweeners who get it, and understand when your therapist travels across the globe to see family and write a book, and ends up saying “Can you hear me? Can you see me?” repeatedly during a Zoom session.

Today I celebrate eight effin' years as a psychotherapist. I feel honored to do this work, to constantly learn and grow as an individual in ways I couldn’t imagine.

What a wild journey it has been. Started out working in person with elementary kids, and now I fully practice remotely around the world. Over the years, I have had sessions in all sorts of conditions: closet, bathroom, on the floor, but last month I added doing therapy in pitch darkness to the list.

This experience reminded me of our incredible resilience and resourcefulness we have as n’betweeners.

To look for opportunities when it feels like there are none.

As n’betweeners, we experience challenges on a daily basis living with oppression. We discover creative strategies to tackle these daily set-backs, and inherently build our resourcefulness. 

Dealing with the mental health issues of oppression means to constantly weather the storms.

It’s May and that means it’s Mental Health Month. As I reflect over these passed eight years, I’ve noticed it has become trendy to fixate only our issues and dismiss our resourcefulness. 

We’ve turned it into a painful habit to make everything about our behaviors BAD. Capitalism teaches you to over-pathologize. To find an issue about yourself 24/7.

There is profit in creating "problems." 

Let me be clear: I’m not dismissing nor minimizing your struggle. It’s crucial to acknowledge your mental health and the pain you face.

But there is value in taking a moment to see the resources you’ve created for yourself in the midst of challenges.

Normalize your daily struggles, and see how you find small ways to surpass them. 

Know someone who could use some support? Have them book a consultation, promise I’ll have power this time :) 

Hugs

Nora